“Opa” is German for Grandpa, and my opa is Austrian.  And proud of it.  Figure that out.

At 91 years old, opa still snow blows the driveway, works in his metal shop, and tells jokes that would make Dane Cook crack up like a 12-year-old-boy in health class.  There’s a lot to learn from a man like that.

When I was in seventh grade, our English teacher gave us an assignment to write about our role models - I wrote about my opa.  He cherishes the paper I wrote to this day; he believes he is one of the luckiest men alive, in that he got to experience something like his eulogy while he was still alive.

Today, I’m writing the next chapter about a great man, and four things I’ve learned from him since then.

Never Miss a Chance to Shut Up

I like what I have to say.  I have opinions, and I want you to hear them and agree.  Like all guys, I LOVE to be RIGHT!  There’s nothing like the validation we feel when we hit the nail on the head, making that point that makes the other withdraw in defeat.

But maybe, sometimes, aiming for that feeling, thinking only of ourselves, can get us into trouble.  Especially when we’re WRONG.

I’ve recently been considering the following points:

1.  Telling the TRUTH means reporting our ongoing experience.  This sounds more like “My current understanding is…” rather then “No, the truth is…”

2.  Understand, then be understood.

Never miss a chance to pause and consider another perspective without rebuttal.  Just experience what someone else is trying to convey, and accept that he/she is doing the best with the information he/she has - you’d say the same thing if you were him/her.

There are two ways to get the job done:  (1) use a hammer, and (2) the right way.

Opa and I spend hours in his shop, making beautiful things out of raw blocks of wood and metal, and taking apart TV’s, radios, and engines - things engineers had spent years putting together.  Together we made this bowl out of 4 square blocks of wood, a sheet of felt, and a wood screw.

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When the wood wouldn’t cooperate, or the plastic case around the VCR wouldn’t budge, THAT was my chance to learn a lesson:

There are two ways to get the job done:  (1) use a hammer, and (2) the right way.

It turns out, by pausing JUST FOR A MOMENT to understand how something works, the job of shaping it the way we wanted it became much easier.

That Car is Long Gone.  No Use Arguing About What Color it Was

This lesson was so early, I honestly don’t remember the details about why it came up.  The illustration goes something like this:

<Car drives by>
Me:  Did you see that orange car?
My brother:  Orange?  It was yellow, duh.
Me:  No, it was ORANGE!
My brother:  It was obviously yellow; you’re such an idiot.
Me:  No it was orange.  This is orange!  <pointing to something orange>  This is Yellow!  <pointing to something yellow>  That car was orange!
My brother:  SHUT UP, THE CAR WAS YELLOW!

Seems pretty silly, right?  The car already drove by, and we couldn’t bring it back to look at it again, maybe get another opinion, and agree based on evidence.

But how often do we argue about politics, about global warming, about he said she said, without ACTUALLY GETTING THE FACTS?  Meanwhile, we prejudge strangers, alienate coworkers, even distance ourselves from close freinds in more subtle ways just to feel that rush of winning an argument.

It All Goes Back in the Box

Opa’s favorite game is Monopoly.  We had our own quick version of the game where we would play like normal, buying up properties until all of them were taken, and then we would stop the game and freely trade with the other players based on which Monopolies we felt would give us the biggest payoff.

(TIP:  The light-blue’s on the first straight after ‘Go’ always win - they are cheap to build up, and your opponents will ALWAYS land on them.)

We’d pay each other huge “rent” and mortgage our own properties just to stay in the game; it was a gamble, and emotional rollercoaster, that always ended in three bad moods and a gloating winner.  (Wow, I just REALLY dramatized Monopoly.  It’s just a board game - try SKYDIVING.)

When the game was all over, the money we had won and the properties we had sacrificed ALL WENT BACK IN THE BOX.  Any clue where this lesson is going?

IN LIFE, all the money we have made, all the big screen TV’s, the fancy cars, the vacation homes, the wardrobes, the careers, and the fame we’ve achieved - IT ALL GOES BACK IN THE BOX.  So enjoy the journey, get a little crazy from time to time, take big risks every day, and remember you can’t take it with you.

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