Rapport is one of the most important features or characteristics of unconscious human interaction. It is commonality of perspective, being in “sync”, being on the same “wavelength” as the person with whom you are talking.
-Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rapport)

Whether you realize it or not, rapport is vital for successful human relationships.  It ‘greases the wheels’ of bonding with family members, coworkers, and romantic couples.

Rapport gives you room to take risks and make progress - but you NEED to know when you’ve got it, and when you don’t.  The challenge is, rapport is usually unconscious and invisible.  Here are a few FUN and EFFECTIVE ways to consciously notice the signs of rapport to find out if you’ve got it:

Beginner:  Matching Strides
This is a fun sign you can look for when you’re walking with a friend.  After walking for a while having a great conversation, quickly notice your stride compared to your friend’s.  If you step with your right foot at the same time he walks with his right foot, the two of you are probably in ’sync’ or in rapport.

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Intermediate:  Mirroring Test
Body language is almost entirely unconscious.  FREEZE and watch for a minute.  How are you sitting?  Are your legs crossed?  Are you leaning toward or away?  Are your hands crossed above your head?

IS THE OTHER PERSON MIRRORING YOUR BODY LANGUAGE?

Are her legs crossed?  Is he leaning toward or away?  Where are her hands?Other places to look for mirroring - loud or soft voice?  Fast or slow pace?  Nervous or relaxed?

Advanced:  Skintone Test
This takes some practice to observe, and some people’s skintone is easier to read than others.  Try observing the face and cheeks of the other person as if it were in black-and-white.  When you’re in rapport, the other person’s skintone will darken slightly, or if you’re still seeing in color, it will blush just a little.  This is a sign of relaxation and trust.  You’re in rapport!

Neuro-linguistic programming is the exploration of these and other unconscious phenomena of language and communication.

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